Monday, February 7, 2011

Hmmmmm

I've been struggling a little when it comes to food lately!  First I need to make myself branch out more.  I want to try things I haven't had in a while but at the same time I'm scared! I hate that I'm scared!  I know that if I just take a bite and chew chew chew I shouldn't have any problems with anything but it still scares me.  Also I've really been struggling with wanting to eat more :(  I don't know exactly what is causing this but I feel like I want to keep eating.  The other night we went to the bowling alley and french fries sounded good.  They don't usually sound good and don't usually taste good either but I wanted them so we got some (I already had 90+g of protein for the day) and OMG they were FABLOUS with ketchup all over them!!  I ate like 4 of them and was STUFFED.  I WANTED MORE!!!!!!!  The taste was so good I wanted to continue that but I physcially couldn't and I know that is exactly why I had this surgery but the "fights" I have with myself are just crazy sometimes.  I know I am doing a good job and I know this was exactly what I wanted and needed and I will continue to have to adjust different parts of my life with food for the rest of my life but some days I just want to be "normal".  Then I remember that my "normal" equaled fat and I don't want to be fat!

1 comment:

  1. i hear ya about those struggles...havent gotten quite there yet but i ate ONE of Shannon's fries the other night and it was FANTASTIC i wanted more but knew i could not but it was just so damn good!!!!!!!

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