3 Year Post Op

I decided to look back through this blog and “re-live” my journey in my own words.  It’s been very interesting to read through this.  One post really stuck with me though and that was my 2 year post-op post.  It was posted a few weeks after my two year anniversary  because it was hard for me to write just as this 3 year post is difficult for me to write.  I always thought that when I would hit these anniversaries I would be able to show off all the work I’ve done and be proud.  Well I am not proud of where I am right now HOWEVER, I am working very hard on being proud because even if I’m not at goal weight I am still HEALTHLY compared to where I was three years ago!

I don’t know if I’ll ever actual get back to “goal weight” and I am not focusing on that currently anyways.  I just want my clothes to fit well again! LOL I am not going to allow myself to even step on the scale, that is not what it is about any longer for  me, it’s just about eating right, getting exercise in and feeling better in my own skin! 

It’s crazy to think how much has changed in three years, in five years, in the last ten years!  I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight but I wasn’t even that “upset” about it as I was just over three years ago and what brought me to have surgery.  I’ve said it often and will continue to say, I am SO HAPPY that I decided to have surgery.  I do not regret this decision and never have and I doubt I ever will! 

Talking to Shane the other night about how it is Great that we can only eat X amount of food now instead of XXX amount of food however that shouldn’t be what its all about.  Yes, that is great that we can only eat a little but eating a little of CRAP gets me to where I am today – not where I want to be!  I’m sure weight wise I’m up at least 20lbs, if not closer to 30 at this point but like I said, it’s not about the number on the scale – it is  about the number on the size of my jeans! Hahaha I’m NOT buying any more, I MUST fit back into the ones I have!

So I SUCK at reaching goals and I make them and then never do anything with them.  Yes, I have completed a few goals here and there but the number of goals I have said I have set and not reached is far higher!  I’m trying to not say “My Goal Is XYZ” but rather just say it’s time to get back on track with eating better (more protein and less sugary junk!) and get back to working out a few times a week.

I have set a goal that I KNOW I will reach and that is in the year 2014 I want a run a Full Marathon! 26.2 miles!  HOLY CRAP AM I CRAZY???!!  Yep, I think I am!  I learned a lot about myself when I did training for a ½ Marathon and I Liked who I was then and I’m ready to be that person again!

The person I have been for the last year is not who I am and I need to find me again! The blog post from my 2 year anniversary says a lot about my work and how much I hate it and that has made me lose myself over the last year and it’s sad.  I am hoping that VERY Soon I can get out of here and forget this year happened – work wise at least!

Okay, so here we are, 3 years post-op and I am mostly happy and I am still Healthy but could always be better!  It’s time to put the Girl Scout cookies down and focus!  LET’S GO!

So you all know that I'm doing the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon in April and that I joined Team in Training to do this!  My fundraising efforts are going well and I'm over half way to my goal! YAY!  I am LOVING the training and all the AWESOME people I have had the honor to meet!

Last night while sitting at home a donation came in through my website
http://pages.teamintraining.org/md/nikewhlf13/dlabayfjlc

And the message I recieved after the message said everything.....



I was going to go anonymous, or leave the amount we donated off, but, we are just regular people, we live paycheck to paycheck, just like most people. With all the people in my house, what I donated was literally ordering my family Chinese twice in one month (We ordered it tonight, and it was actually more than half of what we donated.)
I wanted people to see that it doesn't take much. Use Coupons at the commissary; eat out a few less times a month. Just THIS month. And even if you're not ACTIVELY able to participate, you "join" the group and help the cause. And that feels GOOD, no matter who you are.
And next month, maybe I'll cook a few extra meals at home, cut back on some of the sweets and actually bake a cake; make some iced tea instead of buying sodas. And whether they know me or not, if I can do it, why can't they? They don't have to donate as much
as I did, but if the really look at what they blow money on, and what it COULD be used for, at that point...it' s kind of a no-brainer. How could you NOT do SOMETHING??

I have been blessed to have 4 healthy children and 3 perfect grandchildren. I believe in Karma. I believe that what goes around comes around, and in doing what I can NOW, while I can, for others who need my support, God forbid anything happen to one of my babies...I can only pray that my generosity will be returned in a form that will help the future of my family and theirs.
This is not about me and "who could donate the most money", it's about Shannon, it's about Shannon's family. It's about my dear friend Kylie (who lost her battle against cancer last year) and Katie and Jacob and the beautiful granddaughter Kylie got to spend a month in Heaven with, laughing and tickling and playing with before she brought her down and blessed her son with his first child.

But mostly, It's about teaching my family that by making a few small changes in YOUR life, you can make a HUGE impact in SOMEONE else'. Because even though they are "Grown", I still have a few things left I can teach them. Even if the impact is just a monetary donation that shows someone you care about, that you believe in them.

WOW, words escape me (we know that doesn't happen often!)  This is EXACTLY what it is all about!

Running for a Cause!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/md/nikewhlf13/dlabayfjlc

I have joined Team in Training and am training to run the Nike's Women's 1/2 Marathon in Washington D.C. on the 28th of April!  We had the Kick Off Breakfast this morning and it was AMAZING!  I am SO LUCKY to have a team behind me helping and supporting me through this whole process plus my AMAZING friends!  The Nike race was a lottery to get bibs and how freaking Awesome is it that ALL of my racing girls (Sarah, Jess and Sylvia) all got bibs for it!  Theresa is also doing TNT with me so I am Beyond blessed to have so much support through this!

NOW it's time to Raise Funds!  I am trying to raise $2000 by the 8th of March.  75% of all funds go for Cancer Research!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!!!!!!  There is So many NEW ideas/cures for different cancers right now and that wouldn't be possilbe it it wasn't for fundraising done by people such as those like me doing TNT!

I have decided that I will have a towel/hankerchief with Everyone's name who donates or donates in the honor of someone while I run so that I am Running WITH each and every one of you who help me along the way!

2 Years Post Op

I’ve been putting off writing my 2 year post because well I honestly feel like a failure L  I know I’m not a failure and it’s not like I’ve put all my weight back on but I’ve put more on then I would like to see.  This morning I weighed in at 162 (which is a lb lighter than last week).  My goal weight is 150 and I was there, briefly!  I kept telling myself that it was okay to bounce around a few lbs, and it is, but this isn’t a few lbs, this is 12/13 lbs higher then goal and that is NOT Acceptable!  I look at pictures of me this time last year and I can see the difference, I liked that me better!  Also, my pants are TIGHT, I don’t like tight pants! LOL

I have pretty much given up lately.  I can pin point a lot of it for you.  STRESS!  I eat JUNK when I’m stressed and even though I know exercise might actually help relieve some of that stress I have no motivation to do it.  It’s that first step that is the hardest and I haven’t been able to do it for some time now.  I can say it started when this semester started.  I had no clue that the first 8 week courses would have been so rough on me but it was.  I felt that I had NO time for anything but schoolwork and it got the better of me.  Then the second 8 weeks starts and it’s been a fairly easy 8 weeks (its now finals week! YAY!) but in comes the job change. 

I know this job change has now been a BIG stressor for me.  I was SO SAD to leave my job but really felt as if I had no choice.  I couldn’t hold onto that job when I knew it would be gone in a year and they put this job in my lap, I had to take it but it’s not that I regret it but I HATE MY JOB right now!  I keep telling myself it will get better, it has it right?  Well my job is something that I identify myself with and right now, I Suck L  This makes me eat JUNK as well.  I sit here at work and either just want to munch on junk food or I don’t eat at all which is just as bad, if not worse!

A few months ago I took myself off all medications/supplements.  I was honestly just sick of taking pills all day every day!  When I had my appt with the surgeon this past week I got a lecture, which I expected, about taking myself off.  He did a full blood workup and I have to call them later this week to find out the results.  I honestly don’t think they will be that bad but maybe they are worse then I think and that is part of my no motivation for anything, who knows?

I just need a good kick in the butt to get going again!  I pay $120 a month for a gym membership that I haven’t used in months L  We do use it for my daughter a lot (swimming) and Shane goes more often than me, but still not a whole lot. I can find excuse after excuse for why I’m not going between school, work, and life but in reality my lazy butt just hasn’t gone! I told myself this morning even to pack a gym bag and just go straight there after work, well I couldn’t find my pants and remembered they were in the dryer and guess what, my lazy butt didn’t want to go all the way to the basement and get them so I didn’t pack a bag.  I told myself I need to come home and do my final that is due in 3 days instead.  No I should have packed the bag and I should go to the gym tonight and do the final after but I can tell ya know that won’t be happening L I SUCK!

I do remember that I got into a rut around this time last year as well.  Maybe its just the winter blues or whatever.  But it’s not like it Winter here.  Shoot, it’s Dec 10^th and it was 50 degree out when I left my house at 7 this morning!

MOTIVATION WHERE ARE YOU!??  PLEASE COME BACK??

So two years since surgery.  I can still say it was the BEST Decision I’ve ever made for my own health!  I am Healthy!  Overall I am happy with myself and what I have accomplished but I am sure I will always been trying to achieve bigger and better things in life as well as with my weight and health!

This next years goals are to continue to be healthy and to complete a ½ Marathon!! 

I CAN DO IT!!!!!

Army Ten Miler ~ AMAZING

WOW, I did it!  I completed a TEN MILE RACE!!!  Don't know my official time yet but according to my phone it was 2 hours and 2 minutes!!  I had orginially said I wanted to do it in 2 hour 15 mins but was hoping for 2 hour flat but it's all good!  I got out there and ran and Loved/Hated it!! LOL
My training for this race wasn't what I wanted it to be but life gets in the way sometimes so I am so thrilled that I was able to get out there and do it today!
I headed into DC to stay with my friend Sylvia so I didn't have to deal with traveling down there so early in the morning before the race.  We went to the expo and I bought a pair of running sunglasses and I was SO HAPPY I did!  I Love them and will continue to use them while I run.
We hung out the rest of the day and went to bed about 10pm last night.  Of course my nerves got the best of me and I was awake on and off all night long and when the alarm went off at 445am I was NOT happy!  But I was excited so up I went and ready we got!  Out the door at 525am and headed to the Metro.  We got to the Pentagon at about 6am and go figure had to wait.  We waited to get in the coral area and the potties!  We ended up hulded around a light that the exhust was putting out heat for like an hour!  It was SO COLD!  Finally about 710am we went to our coral area (PURPLE!) After watching some Army Parachuters come out the planes and the signing of the National Anthem it was Race Time!  The Wounded Warriors got to start first but since we were at the last coral we couldn't actually see anything :( We started to move from our area at about 815-820 and made it to the start line very close to our "real" start time of 825am!  OFF WE WENT!  UGH!  I was dying very quickly!  After standing around in the COLD for hours my feet already hurt :(  But I pushed through.  I made it to to the second mile before I had to put my headphones on and get my music going.  I needed that extra push from the songs!  I walked A LOT but kept catching up to Sylvia which was good!  I think the worst part of the whole thing for me was between mile 7 and 8.  Don't know why but it SUCKED! LOL Think I totally "tweaked" something in my BUTT and it hurt and was cramping so bad - just the right cheek! LOL
When we were close to the end I pushed and pushed but it was uphill for a good bit and I just couldn't push anymore :(  Sylvia took off and I ended up walking a bit more.  Saw the finish line and tried to run as best as I could but there was NOTHING left in me to sprint it out like I normally would :( But I FINISHED!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Ended up running into all my friends before the race - Amanda I saw at Packet Pick Up, Tuyen and Kate found me before the race and Anne walked by in the coral so we got a change to chat!! Tuyen and Kate we saw again after the race too so that was Awesome!
I allowed Sylvia to talk me into eating some breakfast before the race since it was So Many Hours until race time - Bad Idea! LOL  I was bleching PB throughout most of the race! LOL  I know my body and I CANNOT eat before I run!
Race was over and we went through the HOOAH tents looking for people we knew and it was neat.  I didn't get all up into the tents and get the swag because I'll be going to the AUSA conference this week so I'll get swag there!  Had to walk about 3 miles back to the Metro when it was done though :(  That was NOT Fun! LOL  Butt cheek hurts, legs hurting, feet Crazy Sore but feel AMAZING for getting out there and doing it!

To top off my Race Day and I got a Great Text Message from a friend of mine who I look up to So Much telling me how proud she was that I accomplished the 10 Miler and how her heart is full for me!  Meant a lot to me to hear this as I know she KNOWS what it's like to struggle with weight, weight loss and Running all the while being a mom and a professional in the workforce!  She's AMAZING!!

Now I'm home chilling in my own chair (after showering of course) and just hurting the rest of the day away! LOL I still sometimes can't believe that the girl who said she would NEVER run (or pay someone to allow her to run) just ran 10 miles!!! 


 

Running

I ran last night, FIVE MILES in about 54 mins!!  Why - Because I felt like RUNNING!!!  WOW, that is just such a wierd thing for me to say.  I wasn't running a race with friends, I just WANTED to go out and RUN!  Had the feeling all day long that I wanted to run so even though it was raining when I got home I said, nope, I'm still going to run! 

Got my phone all set up with a few new songs and off I went.  Started out feeling GREAT and thought I was going at a slower - but decent pace.  It's always in the back of my mind to not push to hard because when it comes time to run the Army Ten Miler I'll want to pace myself good to get through the whole thing! 

So when I hit the 1 mile mark - per the GPS on mapmyrun, it said I did it in like 9:45! WHAT?  WOW!  Thats Awesome but I was Trying to go SLOWER!!! LOL  So then I did slow down a bit.  Texted a quick minute with the neighbor to see if she wanted to join me and then started to run again.  I did a lot of walk/run/walk and it felt Great!!

When I hit the 3 mile mark I said I'm going to watch my miles/time and take a picture of when I hit 3.1 because I knew I was at a GREAT time for me.  Sure enough, 3.1 in 32something minutes!!  WHY Can't I do that IN a RACE??!!! LOL

I was still feeling great so I said I'm going to keep going and see if I can do 5 miles!  By the time 5 miles hit, it was raining harder, I was soaking wet and I felt bad that I hadn't cooked dinner for the family yet so I called it good.  I could have kept going, oh yes, I could have!!  I can't even put into words what that felt like to know I could Keep Going!!!

I'm not worried about completeing the Army Ten Miler now in the time frame but I am concered about not being able to have my music!  Music is what Keeps me GOING through it all!  I've had SO MUCH on my mind lately (losing job is at the top! and then my weight gain and a lot more) that I just tried as hard as I could to clear my head and just Get Lost in the Music! It felt GREAT!  So I guess I, Dawn LaBay, can I say I am a runner!

Weight Gain

I haven't wanted to admit this to myself but I have to. I Have GAINED WEIGHT :(  It SUCKS! but there is No one to blame but myself!  I have been lazy in my eating habits and haven't been as good with workouts as I should.  Yes, I am still getting at least one good workout in a week but I should ALWAYS be getting AT LEAST 3 in a week, preferably 5 a week!

Here and NOW I am going to focus and do more, do better!  No ONE is going to do this BUT me so I must make myself!  Work is crazy busy with me doing two jobs in one now, going to school full time and having Paxtons schedule to deal with, I still must MAKE the Time FOR ME!

Yes, most of my clothes still fit, but that might be because I've stretched them out! LOL 

Again, it's time to get back on track and get it going again!!