2 Years Post Op

I’ve been putting off writing my 2 year post because well I honestly feel like a failure L  I know I’m not a failure and it’s not like I’ve put all my weight back on but I’ve put more on then I would like to see.  This morning I weighed in at 162 (which is a lb lighter than last week).  My goal weight is 150 and I was there, briefly!  I kept telling myself that it was okay to bounce around a few lbs, and it is, but this isn’t a few lbs, this is 12/13 lbs higher then goal and that is NOT Acceptable!  I look at pictures of me this time last year and I can see the difference, I liked that me better!  Also, my pants are TIGHT, I don’t like tight pants! LOL

I have pretty much given up lately.  I can pin point a lot of it for you.  STRESS!  I eat JUNK when I’m stressed and even though I know exercise might actually help relieve some of that stress I have no motivation to do it.  It’s that first step that is the hardest and I haven’t been able to do it for some time now.  I can say it started when this semester started.  I had no clue that the first 8 week courses would have been so rough on me but it was.  I felt that I had NO time for anything but schoolwork and it got the better of me.  Then the second 8 weeks starts and it’s been a fairly easy 8 weeks (its now finals week! YAY!) but in comes the job change. 

I know this job change has now been a BIG stressor for me.  I was SO SAD to leave my job but really felt as if I had no choice.  I couldn’t hold onto that job when I knew it would be gone in a year and they put this job in my lap, I had to take it but it’s not that I regret it but I HATE MY JOB right now!  I keep telling myself it will get better, it has it right?  Well my job is something that I identify myself with and right now, I Suck L  This makes me eat JUNK as well.  I sit here at work and either just want to munch on junk food or I don’t eat at all which is just as bad, if not worse!

A few months ago I took myself off all medications/supplements.  I was honestly just sick of taking pills all day every day!  When I had my appt with the surgeon this past week I got a lecture, which I expected, about taking myself off.  He did a full blood workup and I have to call them later this week to find out the results.  I honestly don’t think they will be that bad but maybe they are worse then I think and that is part of my no motivation for anything, who knows?

I just need a good kick in the butt to get going again!  I pay $120 a month for a gym membership that I haven’t used in months L  We do use it for my daughter a lot (swimming) and Shane goes more often than me, but still not a whole lot. I can find excuse after excuse for why I’m not going between school, work, and life but in reality my lazy butt just hasn’t gone! I told myself this morning even to pack a gym bag and just go straight there after work, well I couldn’t find my pants and remembered they were in the dryer and guess what, my lazy butt didn’t want to go all the way to the basement and get them so I didn’t pack a bag.  I told myself I need to come home and do my final that is due in 3 days instead.  No I should have packed the bag and I should go to the gym tonight and do the final after but I can tell ya know that won’t be happening L I SUCK!

I do remember that I got into a rut around this time last year as well.  Maybe its just the winter blues or whatever.  But it’s not like it Winter here.  Shoot, it’s Dec 10^th and it was 50 degree out when I left my house at 7 this morning!

MOTIVATION WHERE ARE YOU!??  PLEASE COME BACK??

So two years since surgery.  I can still say it was the BEST Decision I’ve ever made for my own health!  I am Healthy!  Overall I am happy with myself and what I have accomplished but I am sure I will always been trying to achieve bigger and better things in life as well as with my weight and health!

This next years goals are to continue to be healthy and to complete a ½ Marathon!! 

I CAN DO IT!!!!!