Why is it that for that brief moment food makes you feel better? It used to last a lot longer for me but now it really is only a brief moment and then my brain catches up and says WTF did you just eat and my body says screw you now I'm going to make you hurt for eating that! But do I learn and not do it again, No!
I have been struggling really bad over the last few weeks, shoot the last few months! I thought a part of it was because I was wanting to see my family but I went and saw them and it didn't help :( shoot it might have made it worse!
I am missing my friends and family and it make it all worse we are doing really bad financially so we are stuck just being in the house with Nothing to do!
I have had to give up things that I really enjoy in order to save money and that just makes me feel worse about myself :(
So I have been eating like CRAP! I haven't been getting all my water in, no where near getting in my protein! I put weight on but 3/4 of it has come back off because now I'm just not eating! I know exactly what I am doing wrong but I don't know how to make myself be disciplined again and get myself going!
I know this is just a part of life, I'm going to struggle from time to time but it sure does suck while in stuck in the middle of it!
I really do Hate that I turn to food but I honestly don't know why else to do! I can talk to the few people who will listen until I'm blue in the face, they can't make it any better! I usually end up feeling worse because either I am reminded that so many others have it a lot worse then I do or I make the other person upset and that upsets me! It's just a sucky vicious circle! UGH!
I meet with the NUT tomorrow and I can already hear her telling me what I need to do, well I already Know what to do but please tell my brain to find a way to make my body do it! I feel like my body just wants to give up! I want to stay in bed and never get out but I am an adult and must go to work or that'll just make it worse so since I can't just sit in bed and cry, I eat instead!
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