Friday, October 14, 2011

11 months

So today I am 11 months post op and I have had my first "freak out" about my weight!  I haven't really lost/nor gained over the last few months and it's really hitting me now that I really want to hit my goal weight.  I have just let my body go and do what it wanted to do as far as my weight loss went but I have always said I wanted to hit goal by my 1 year mark and now that I'm down to only 1 month left I am really freaking out!  I feel that I have really been doing good for me and I think I know what it's going to take during maintence but I don't want to be in maintence yet, I still want/NEED to lose 8-10lbs!!  I am drinking a TON of water each day, watching my carb intake (now I'm going to try and lower it even more) and make sure I'm getting enough protein in.  But I guess my exercise has been lacking and what I have been doing is the same thing so I guess I really need to mix it up and start doing something different.  I have been losing my motivation again and I need to find it and get back to it! I have my finals this weekend and then I'm done with school so no more excuses about needing to do that instead of working out! I need some workout partners again, that always helps keep my motivation going!!!
I do think my body is going through some adjustments again.  My face is breaking out, more hair on the face, weight not moving, headaches, foods that I have ate before now not agreeing with me!  I've been sick more times in the last three weeks then I have in the last 11 months and I'm NOT happy about it!  I HATE getting sick!  Just today, I made a protein shake for lunch and within minutes it was right back up :( UGH!
I know this is a journey, not a race but for whatever reason I have just always had it in my head that I was going to hit goal by 1 year!  I know I should be happy where I am, I'm HEALTHY and happy with  my size but I want to see those numbers on the scale!
Recent NSV as I was doing laundry last night I grabbed a pair of my jeans and was going to fold them and thought to myself, "Whose jeans are these?" I knew they were too big to be Pax but no way they were mine, their too small!  Nope they aren't too small, they are mine and I'm wearing them right this second! LOL

1 comment:

  1. " I know I should be happy where I am, I'm HEALTHY and happy with my size but I want to see those numbers on the scale! " ......Read that sentence. Reread it. Analyze it. Now....GET OVER IT.
    STOP with the numbers obsession. We are not identified by numbers. Your actual weight is not flashing above your head everywhere you go for everyone to see. Your glowing, HEALTHY happy self is what is seen. When are YOU going to only see that when you look in the mirror?? You need to come to terms with some of your 'obsessions'.

    I'm so proud of you! Don't fret about the adjustments...they'll change again before ya know it, that's why they're called 'adjustments'! ;) Get back into that workout routine, bc ya love it and always feel amazing after! I love to hear and see that you FEEL great. That's all that is needed!!!

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