Discourgaed

Sometimes I just get a horrible discourgaed feeling :(  This week, I gained again.  I figured I might or at least I knew I wasn't going to lose.  I have been totally out of wack since starting work again!  Last week I didn't get my normal protein in but am working on that this week and so far so good.  But I did step on the scale today and it read that I have gained a lb :(  I HATE SEEING THAT!!!!!  I know I shouldn't believe what my scale says each day because it changes so much but seeing that and also knowing what used to my normal eating patterns have all changed it sucks and makes me feel not so good :(

I also got my first "Look" today, and I'm not talking about the good kind.  I have never been private about my surgery but today I was in converstation with someone about it and when I said I had surgery I got "a look"!  Nothing was said further but it was that piety-lower class person-cheater type of look :(  I am PROUD of my discision to go with surgery and here I am 65lbs lighter in just 4 short months and am becoming physically fit so I say to those "lookers"  KICK ROCKS!

5K

I was up at 0630 (which is sleeping in now!!) and drank a small glass of milk.  Since my tummy seems a little sour in the mornings I wanted something in there right away but didn't want to eat anything before I ran!  We took the metro into the district and it was great to ask more questions of my friends who have been there done that a lot with races!  We were all happy go lucky just having a good ole time!  Get to the race area and of course I have to pee! LOL  Hit the ICKY potty and get "in line" to go!  We all started together but that didnt' last long!  I was SO COLD but so Excited and pumped up!  I started to jog soon and then run and then walk and run and walk and back and forth!  Felt like I was keeping a pretty good pace (a little slower then what I do on the treadmill)!  When I went by the water I did grab a bottle and take a few quick drinks and then ran with the water for a little bit.  Took another couple of sips and tossed it!  Which is so crazy to just throw something on the side like that, hated to do it but couldn't carry it and run! LOL  It wasn't until about 4K that I finally started to feel really warm! LOL  I had on my AWESOME Compression pants (from Old Navy) and I had on two long sleeve shirts and the run t-shirt and my gloves!! LOL My Ipod tells me it was 4.5K so I was trying to make sure I would be able to stop it and read my time when done and it all messed up and stoping reading my distance! UGH  SO annoyed! LOL  So I can really see the finish line and I started to run for it!  When I got there I threw my hands up in the air and if I could have I just might cried!!!!  I was feeling SO Elated!  Words can't really describe the crazy happy feeling I had coming across that finish line!  Shane didn't get a picture of me :(  I was totally bummed about that but Mark (my roomie) got a kinda okay one that I'm going to steal!  We did this run for Sarah's (my other roomie) Grandma!  We were team Joggin' for G-Ma so we accented ourselves in yellow because that is her favorite color!!
It was just so Awesome and such a Great feeling to know I DID IT!  I have ALWAYS wanted to run a race but even when I wasn't as heavy I never thought about running!  This has been a CRAZY 3-4 months leading up to where I am right now and again, it just feels AWESOME!!
I did find a place that they posted the times (since the Ipod stopped working right) and my final time was 37:58!!  It's a little longer then what I have done on the treadmill but it's a GREAT time for my first race!  I'm trying to not be ALL about my time but it is something to really WORK towards, beating myself!!

Overweight

So as of today's weigh in I am officially overweight and NOT obese!!!  Weighed in at 184 this morning!! WOOHOO!!!  It's crazy that I am so happy about being overweight but after being obese for so long this is a HUGE accomplishment!!  Now I really just need to keep going with the exercise since I started my new job today!  I have to find the time for working out, school work and regular Work!!!  Plus I MUST remind myself to Eat!  I went the whole day with no food today but of course never once was I hungry but I know that I need food!

16 Weeks

Today I am 16 weeks post-op and my weigh in this morning was Fablous!!  With clothes on I weighed in at 185.6 (nekkid 184.4).  I go by my with clothes number though since thats how I weigh at the doctors office!  So according to that I am .6 of a pound away from being ONLY overweight instead of Obese!! WOOHOO!!! 

These past 16 weeks have been Crazy, sucky, Wonderful and all around the Best!!! LOL  I have lost a total of 60lbs thus far and have another 35 to go to hit my goal!  I have set my goal at 150lbs which is on the high end of where I need to be per the charts!  If I go below then thats great but I at least want that 150 mark!

Here are a few pictures from this morning!

Gain

Well I knew that it would happen someday but I didn't think it would happen this quickly.  I gained weight this week :(  (1lb)  It’s a real sucky feeling but I have no one to blame but myself!  For the 4 days this past week I didn't get in enough protein and I know a big key to my weight loss is getting in 60+g of protein EVERYDAY.  I also took in a lot more carbs then I usually do and I didn't make it to the gym in two weeks now.  I was sick one week and then the next I just didn't go because I would have only been able to go one day since the rest we were out of town.  So like I said, My Fault all the way!  I KNOW what I need to be doing now I must just do it!  For whatever reason it seems that now I can "see" myself and my excuses better than I used to!  I guess before surgery I chose to not see and now I chose to see.  By making excuses I am just hurting myself and I don't want to do that!  I WANT to be healthy and lose all my weight, I WANT to feel good in my own skin and I WANT to be physically fit!  I can only do those things if I Choose to eat the right things and I go to the gym!  Today is a new day and I'm going to Choose the right way!

Every had a "Fat" Day?

Well I think I can officially say that today I am having a SKINNY day today!!  I didn't think I would ever hear myself say those words!!  Finally decided to get off my butt and put clothes on and we all were going to run to the store.  Went into the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans, well they didn't fit, WAY too big!  So I grabbed another pair and once again they were too big!  Tried the third pair one which is a pair I've been holding onto for sometime now because they were too small, yep  They FIT!!!  Seemed just a tiny tight but not much.  I still can't believe that I stood there in the closet just looking at my clothes going OMG I have no clothes and for the first time it was because everything was TOO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!  It was such a GREAT feeling!!!! BUT at the same time I'm Oh crap, I have no clothes to wear and I don't want to buy any because I'm still loosing weight! LOL  Such a double edged sword!

LARGE!!

Met with my surgeon this morning for my 3 month post-op appointment.  A few weeks ago I had all my labs drawn (all 10 vials of them!!) and everything was back and OMG I can't believe it, it was all GREAT!!!  NO Supplements at all!! WOOHOO!!!  Still have to keep up with my protein and also my daily vitamin but otherwise nothing else!!  She also said she was very happy with my progress and everything was great!  I also went and saw the NUT today and she also was very happy with my progress!  She looked up on her charts and says my "goal" weight should be 152 so MY goal is 150!  Today at the doctors office I weighed in at 192.7 but of course I am following my scale at home!  So after all the good news this morning I decided to go a "treat" myself with new clothes! hehe  The main point was to look at bras because they are shrinking :(  I'm not happy about this!  I didn't go through all that pain from having a reduction 5 years ago to totally loosing them now UGH!  Since my reductin I've been a D cup but it seems as if I might be a C cup now :(  Okay, I can deal with that but they better not move anymore!!  So I figured what the hey, I'll try on other stuff while I'm here!  I found my brown knee high boots FINALLY and even better was they were on sale for TEN DOLLARS!!!!!!  WOOHOO!!  I also grabbed another pair of tights and another pair of workout pants, that have a drawstring so they should last me longer!  The crazy part was I found a super cute dress and I remember Shane saying something about me wearing more dresses so I figured I would try it on.  I grabbed the XL and went to try it on.  It fit okay, seemed a little big so I figured I might as well try the Large and just see how much more I have to go until I get into it.  OMFG IT FIT!!!!!!!!!!!  It didn't just fit, it fit WELL!!!!  I was in a 2X when I started my journey just a mere 3 months ago and now I'm in a Large!!  HOW FREAKING AWESOME!  I also got a cute "v day" shirt that was also a large!!!  So I'll take the size large even if it means my boobies are shrinking!! hehe