Changes

So I know I have physcially changed with the weight loss, it's right there, very apparent that I have lost a lot of weight (unless you are just meeting me) but what isn't right there in your face is the change that has happened on the inside.  I can say that yes I am the same person I have always been but it is really different.  Self-confidence does a lot of things to people in good and bad ways.  When I was heavy I was really good about putting a "face" on and making people believe that I was self-confident but deep down inside I really wasn't.  Now with the weight loss I have been becoming more and more self-confident and I know it shows in the clothes I wear, how I carry myself and my just over all demeanor.  SO I got a strange idea that with all of this change I should change my looks even more and I cut off all my hair!  This was HUGE for me.  I have had the same hair style my WHOLE life and have always been too scared to do anything different.  So here I sit with a "new" body and a new haircut and now I am starting to feel not so confident anymore!  I know that doing something this drastic with my hair is going to take time to get used to so I am trying to be paient! It's so crazy that I can go from feeling so great about myself to not feel so great about myself!  I keep telling myself that yes it is a lot of what I feel about myself but also how my husband feels about me and he swears he LOVES my haircut and he wants me to keep my hair super short from here on out!  I am a whole new person and I do feel that this hair cut shows that!

8 Months

Okay well I'm not really all the way there yet but super close and I had a quick minute to post! LOL  I still LOVE my sleeve!!  Things have been going Super well in my journey!  I haven't been losing super fast but I am okay with that.  I am down to only like 15lbs away from goal weight so I figured it would slow down some.  This week I have really been trying to get back to basics though and pay attention to my protein intake and lower my carb intake and I feel even better because of it!!  I will officially weigh in on Monday but it seems that I did lose a good amount this week but I know my weight does change a lot throughout the week!  I had hubby take pictures today because we had a minute and I also learned how to make them into side by side pictures!  So here is my before and now picture!  Down approx. 85lbs!!

Adjustments

Adjustment is the best word I can think of right now for what I feel I am going through!  Shoot, the past 7 months have been one big adjustment after another since Surgery but again I really feel that I'm going through another "big" one!  I am now back to living with my family and to cook and sit down for dinners together.  I have been eating SO BAD for months now and I think it is finally catching up with me.  I am still a firm believer that I don't want to be "dieting" but just want to eat healthy, enjoy what I can eat and just LIVE life!  I have been neglectful of my protein intake though so that MUST change!  I have also been out of touch with working out and after doing 2 5Ks this past weekend it showed!  Yes, my times were still "normal" for me but if I had been training and working out like I should they should have been better! 

I also haven't made another appointment with the NUT yet :(  She's kind of annoying so I don't know if I want to really deal with her until I get myself back on track!  So far this week things have been good except the scale :(  That dang thing is going to really annoy me this week!  I was up at my weigh in on Monday and so I went ahead and stepped on it on Tue and I was up even more! UGH :(  I have got all my protein in on Mon and Tue and I did a step class last night and I held 2lb weights and did arms throughout the whole 45 min class!! WOOHOO!!  Hurt but felt Great too! LOL

I LOVE to work out but I just have to find the time with my family being here!  I need to make myself get up early and go run because I have to admit, I do miss running!  CRAZY I know! LOL

So I totally feel that I am all over the place, which reading back over this I am! LOL  BUT that is me, I have always been all over the place so just deal with it!

I am happy though, that is for sure!  I am wearing a size 10 pants and a Med top and right now my weight is around 167.  I still want (SO BADLY) to see 150lbs but we'll see what my body has in store for me!  As for my size, I am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!  I haven't been a size 10 since HIGHSCHOOL!  It's still just so crazy to think that in highschool I was "fat" though at a size 10 and now I am rejoiceing to be this size! LOL

NSV - Non Scale Victory

Well I have had a few NSVs this past weekend and today and I thought I should share.  First was this weekend when I had two formal events.  I got A LOT of compliments (some might be considered inappropriate but I didn't think so! hehe) and I felt SEXY in both of my dresses!  It was a FAN FREAKING TASTIC weekend all together!

Then today I HAD to go buy some work clothes (am down to only two skirts and that is it that fits) and I was able to fit into Size 10 work pants (they usually run SMALL) and Medium shirts/dress!! WOOHOO!!  I swore I wasn't ever going to be in a Med. because I do have tatas and wide shoulers but I fit!!

Here's me in the dresses from this weekend!  The black one is a size 10 but there is no zipper and the other is a size 13 with a zipper!

6 Month Doctor Appointment

So I met my new surgeon today at NNMC Bethesda!  He's pretty cool/nice.  He went ahead and pulled my labs (vitas) so we'll see how they are once they come back!  When he first peaked his head in he quickly asked me what my "deal" was and as he was leaving he looked back and gave me the once over and said I looked Fabulous!  YAY I FEEL FABULOUS!! LOL  So he wants to see me again at 9, 12, 15-18 months and then 2 years and then he figures my yearly well women can cover from there on out! YAY!  He did talk a little about how I just need to continue with eating protein first, then veggies and then carbs which I know and I do TRY to do but I have to admit that I have been eating REALLY bad lately!  I can't wait to be all settled in my home with all MY things so that I can get back into a good routine of eating and working out!

Hormones

I have never been that emotional of a person. Yes, I have my times just like any one else but this is getting out of hand!  I knew that having a drastic/fast weight loss was going to really effect my hormones but damn it, I'm sick of crying already! LOL

I have been under A LOT of stress with this move, commute, buying house, starting new job, etc. but it's nothing that I can't handle.  I am a very strong person and I usually thrive better when put under a lot of pressure but I totally broke yesterday.  I cried almost all the way home :(  I guess I just needed to let it out but ugh, no more!

I sit here and think back through my journey thus far and this isn't the first time "I broke".  When I lost my wallet back in Jan, I totally broke then as well and I really didn't understand at the time why I was so emotional over it.  Yeah, it SUCKED and I was PISSED but why was I crying and So upset about it.  It's all because of these damn CRAZY HORMONES!

Scale Victory!

The best scale victory to date!  Weighed in at 169.8 this morning! YAY!  I haven't been in the 160s since 2003!  I'm also really shocked that I lost 4lbs this week! It hasn't been the best week of food choices while I was traveling but it does go to show just how much my sleeve does help me! I LOVE MY SLEEVE!