Ice Cream!!

We had to put the new ice cream bowl in the freezer over night so we finally made the ice cream today!  It was Yummy!!  I used the mint chip recipe from "The world according to eggface"!  1 cup of milk, 2 scoops of vanilla protein powder, 1/8t mint extract, 1/8t gree food coloring and 2 sugarfree pepermint patties!!  Using the new attachment was cool and SUPER easy too!!  I can't wait to try the peanutbutter cup one next! hehe

I bought

An Ice Cream attachment for my Kitchen Aid so I can make Protein Ice Cream!!! WOOHOO!!  I've really been craving Ice Cream so I finally had my husband go and buy some, but my sleeve didn't like that!  I wasn't sick or anything but "she" was talking to me for HOURS after I ate it  and I just wasn't feeling good!  So the blog, The world according to eggface, has a TON of recipes for Ice Cream that has protein and sugar free!! YAY!!!  I can't wait to try it out!

5K

One of my goals for 2011 (and post surgery) is to complete a 5K race!  I don't have a specific time in mind that I want to complete it in I just want to complete it!  I don't know why I have wanted to do one for so long considering I really don't enjoy running but I know that running is GREAT exercise and I'm so determinded to get and keep my weight off!!

So I paid my fees yesterday for the Earth Day 5K race on the 30th of April!!  I have a few months to prepare/train and see how it goes!  I'm going to get fitted for shoes this weekend and when it gets closer to race time I will buy new clothes!  No point in buying clothes right now since I'm still losing the weight! 

It's a Good thing but I'm SAD!

So just before Christmas it started to really hit me that I'm going to have to go through my closet because a lot of clothes were already not fitting so well.  Well FINALLY I went through the WHOLE closet today and OMG it's Crazy!  I tried on ALL of my clothes to see where I was at!  I ended up getting rid of (donating to the goodwill) 13 shirts, 8 pants, 1 dress and 3 pairs of shoes!!!!!!!!!! OMG Just think, each shirt probably cost me around $8-12 and each pair of pants was at least $15 and shoes also about $15 - right there I ended up getting rid of $250-$300 worth of PERFECTLY GOOD CLOTHES!!! UGH!  I know this is a GREAT thing because I am losing the weight and becoming a Healthy me finally but man, it's hard!!!

Need to find Balance

Since having WLS everything has changed!  Not only with my own life and how I eat and behave because of the eating change but also in my marriage and in myself as a mother, I mean everything!  Shoot, just after surgery I lost my job even and if that isn't a BIG change I don't know what else is! LOL

So things have really been going REALLY good for me though.  I've hit a few rough patches since surgery but for the most part it really has been a pretty easy transition.  That is until now.  I'm really..... Well I don't really know what I am but I need to get it figured out SOON!

Before surgery, and for as long as I can remember I have been an emotional eater.  I eat when I'm happy, mad or sad, shoot you name the emotion I would eat because of it!  Well I know that isn't what I should be doing and it's not what I'm doing right now but I feel that my emotions are coming out the way they should without having my crutch of food there.

I've been dealing with my wallet being lost/stolen over the past week and I just keep getting worse and worse news about being able to obtain new IDs and I am just SO MAD right now and I don't know what to do with myself.  I want to eat because that is what I'm used to doing, not because I'm hungry (I don't get hungry at all).  I want to eat because I don't want to cry any more.  I hate crying but I have seemed to do a lot of that this past week and it SUCKS!  I want to eat because I can't work out.  Hubby is home at all times and I'm not comfortable doing an at home dvd with him sitting there making fun of me and it's like 0 degrees outside and I'm a WIMP in the cold.  I really wish I could just go to the gym because I know I can release a lot of anger there but alas, must have ID to go :(

I LOVE to cook/bake but then I have food in my house staring at me calling my name and I refuse to eat it!  Shoot, today has been so bad with my emotions and me WANTING to eat that I have stayed completely clear of all food and haven't ate anything.  And I know this isn't the answer either!  I NEED to eat; I NEED to get in my protein because that helps me lose weight.  I NEED the nutrients that food gives me but I'm so scared of myself right now that if I do eat I'm sure I'll go straight for the bad stuff :(

I've tried to pray and leave it all in God's hands which I know is what I should be doing but dang it, he made me and he knows that I'm a TOTAL CONTROL FREAK and right now I am feeling Totally OUT of control and I Hate it!

I NEED to be working again!  I NEED to not be sitting in my house each and every day and thinking of all of this!  My life flows really well when there is a better balance in it and I just need to find that balance once again!

ONEDERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here and I'm NEVER LEAVING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So official weigh in this morning was 199.8! LOL  Barely there but I'm there!!  I just need to continue to make my protein goals everyday and working out and I know it's going to continue to just melt off!!

I am also 8 weeks out from surgery today and I have lost 38lbs in those 8 weeks and total (counting the two week pre-op diet) I have lost 46 lbs!!!

Here is a picture of before surgery (but after the two week pre-op), the second one is at 4 weeks and the third is today at 8 weeks!!

Cupcakes

DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Now the time starts that I must get my mind right!  Thus far my sleeve has pretty much done all the work for me on what I ate because I couldn't eat much of nothing but now it seems that almost anything is going down just fine!  So here I am with a kitchen full of cupcakes because stupid me wanted to decorate them and I found out that the mini ones I made go down okay :(  NOT GOOD!!!! 

Also, I know that most all foods that I have tried are going down okay so I MUST make good choices!  I didn't go through all this for nothing, thats for sure!!

So my protein has been good for the past three days, 60+ grams and I have to keep it that way.  I need to get some fresh veggies and start to steam them and have them at lunch and dinner!  I still LOVE eggs (whites only) and cheese so I'm good there! 

I can eat 2oz of meat at a time now so that is helping with my protein!  Maybe I'll visit another blog I read because I think I remember seeing something about protein cupcakes on her site????

DANG IT I want another mini cupcake!! NO NO NO I will say!!! hehe

Guess I should go make dinner and fill up on my protein first!!